


It's Always You

by EvilFriendOfMine



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Car Accidents, Fluff, M/M, Memory Loss, Narry - Freeform, Post-Zayn One Direction, Solo Artist Zayn, canon AU, one direction - Freeform, rekindled zayn and niall friendship, soooo fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 14:03:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14498610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilFriendOfMine/pseuds/EvilFriendOfMine
Summary: One Direction come to the end of 2015, the tour is over and the start of their break is only about a month away when Niall and Harry get in a car accident on the way to an interview.  Niall wakes in the hospital only to have lost his memories of the last few months, including the ones of Harry.





	It's Always You

**Author's Note:**

> So, I started this fic in December of 2015 and never picked it back up. I finished it for the 1d Back For You Collab Spring Promo Event. 
> 
> Title from the song "It's Always You" by Kris Allen (the song is used in the story so you might want to listen to it)
> 
> About the 1d Back For You Collab (which I am a mod on) 
> 
> For writers of One Direction or Solo 1d fan fiction with WORKS IN PROGRESS who have already started posting a fic on Tumblr or AO3 (or another site) and would like to get the motivation to finish their fic while collaborating with an artist to create visual content for your work in progress fan fiction. The Collab is also open to people wanting to write sequels to existing fics! It’s a Tinhat free zone and rules can be found on the @1dbackforyoucollab Tumblr!

“Oi, come on, Nialler.  The media waits for no one,” Louis calls. 

Niall comes rushing down the stairs, white converse in hand and walks through the front door to meet the rest of the boys outside.  Harry’s leaning up against the first black SUV with his arms crossed, staring up into the sky which is getting darker. 

“Well, if the media did wait they might actually get something right,” Niall retorts, walking pass Louis and Liam and heading toward the first SUV where Harry stands waiting.

“If that ever happens, hell would probably freeze over,” Liam laughs as he follows Louis to the second SUV.

Harry opens the door for Niall then walks around the vehicle to get in on the other side.  As they leave the house, Niall slips on his shoes and Harry just looks at him. “What?” Niall asks smiling at Harry.

“Nothing, I just…I think it’s funny that you waited until you got in the car and had already walked outside to put on your shoes…kinda defeats the purpose,” Harry says as a big grin spreads across his face.

“Yeah, well I was the last one to get me hair and makeup done, so the whole shoe thing sort of lost its priority,” Niall says tightening the laces and tying his shoes.  At first Niall thought Harry was going to make fun of his shoe choice for some reason, but white sneakers, and a button-down shirt seemed good enough and pretty normal for Niall.  It wasn’t anything fancy or out there like he’s seen Harry wear…and Harry’s had some doozies, but Harry is only wearing black skinny-jeans and a plain white t-shirt. They’d all been done up and undone so many times in the last couple months that when it was up to them, they went for something simple.

It isn’t that Niall, or any of the boys, don’t want to do the interview, but they are all tired and even though the tour is over, they still have a new album to promote, so they can’t relax just yet. Plus, they still have the AMAs and a whole slew of other award shows and talk shows to perform at before they go on break. 

Niall asks Basil to put on the radio, so the car ride doesn’t seem so quiet. ‘It’s Always You’ by Kris Allen comes on and Niall and Harry look at each other and smile. Something flutters in Niall’s chest with the way that Harry looks at him.

Niall’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, the screen was lit up with Liam’s name.  Niall swipes the screen and puts the phone to his ear, “What’s up, Payno?”

From the other end of the line, Niall can hear giggling then Liam collecting himself enough to say, “Niall Horan, you stay exactly the way you are, because you are per-fect.”  The giggling continues and Niall can hear Louis say something then Liam starts to calm down more and starts talking again.  “Lou and I were talking about hanging out tonight after this interview, maybe play some Ping-Pong or some FIFA.  You and Haz want to join, make semi even teams, since you know we are going to kick your arses? Or are you going to fly off to bed like a couple of old men?”

Niall rolls his eyes and laughs, putting the phone to his shoulder, “Liam wants to know if we want to hang out with him and Louis after the interview to make even teams or if we want to go to sleep early like a couple of old men?”

Harry shakes his head and smiles, “Tell Liam, game on.”

Niall relays Harry’s message then hangs up the phone.  “They are so going down,” Niall says.

They high-five and their fingers interlace for a moment.  Niall begins to pull away. 

“Don’t let go,” Harry says jokingly and both he and Niall laugh.  “We’re still going to finish our conversation from earlier, right?” Harry says in a serious tone and he looks at Niall.

Niall nods. “Of course.”

“Good,” Harry says. He smiles and slides his hand over the seat so his fingers graze Niall’s.

“Don’t let go,” Niall echoes with a smile, looking from their hands to Harry’s face.

Bright lights come at the vehicle through the rear-passenger window, silhouetting Niall.  Niall turns to look at Harry, eyes scared and Harry reaches out toward his bandmate.  “Niall!” Harry yells, just as the pickup truck makes impact with the passenger’s side of their black SUV.

The SUV slides across the dark pavement at the intersection, shifting sideways against the impact of the pickup truck as it veers off, leaving the SUV in a crumpled mess a few feet away from the light post on the street corner.  The window on Niall’s side shatters, sending glass flying across the backseat.  Harry’s window cracks where Harry’s head bounces off the glass.  The other SUV pulls up to the intersection to see the mess before them.

Harry’s eyes flutter open, the pain shooting through his head, making the little bit of light that enters the hull of the vehicle almost unbearable.  “Niall?” he chokes out.  He tries to move, but the pain that shoots through the left side of him hurts like crazy and his neck is stiff.  There’s no answer from the seat next to him and Harry tries to turn his head to look but his body won’t let him.  “Niall?” Harry says again.  There’s still no answer and Harry attempts to reach out to his silent bandmate.  Harry can see the tip of Niall’s fingers on the seat next to him and as much as the pain tries to stop him, Harry is determined to put his hand on Niall’s hand. “Niall?” Harry says again just as his finger’s graze Niall’s pale, motionless hand. 

Harry can hear shouting in the distance and suddenly Louis is pulling his door open, “Harry?” Louis says slightly panicked. 

“How’s Niall?” Harry mumbles faintly, moving his eyes to meet Louis’. 

Louis looks toward the other side of the car, “Li, how is he.” 

Liam stands on the other side of the car and Louis can see him through the broken window, staring almost blankly at Niall’s motionless body.

“Li!” Louis yells across the car.  “Is he breathing?”

Liam just keeps staring at Niall.  “I…I don’t…I don’t know,” Liam says still staring at Niall.  “I don’t know...”

 

 

Niall wakes up and the room is too bright. The lights and the white ceiling and the white walls; it all hurts his eyes. The bed’s uncomfortable and he wants to move. To roll onto his side or onto his stomach and go back to sleep but his body is too stiff.

There’s a beeping noise…an annoying beeping noise that jumps slightly when Niall realizes that he’s lying in a hospital bed. He looks to the left and sees Louis curled up on a chair next to him and Liam with his head in his arms on the edge of the bed.

“Nialler?” Liam says picking up his head.

Louis and Harry wake up, confused until their eyes land on Niall.

“Thank god,” Louis breathes out.

“What happened?” Niall asks softly. His throat is sore and dry, but he tries to ignore it.

“You were in a car accident,” Liam says.

“Pickup truck ran the red light and hit the car you lads were in,” Louis continues.

His eyes shift over to the other side, where Harry sits, with one arm in a black sling, a white bandage at the side of his forehead, his other hand his holding Niall’s softly, and there’s something in him that takes comfort in that.

“Harry?” Niall’s eyes go from the sling on Harry’s shoulder to his eyes, the red bruise showing around the bandage on his forehead.  “Oh, god.”

“I’m fine, Niall, really,” Harry says. “It’s not that bad. Just a dislocated shoulder and a concussion.”

Niall squeezes Harry’s hand.  “What about Zayn?” Niall says shooting his gaze back over to Louis and Liam. “Where is he? Is he alright?”

Louis, Liam, and Harry look at Niall with confused expressions.

“Zayn’s in London, mate,” Louis says.

At first Niall thinks it’s a joke or something because why would they be in what looks like America and Zayn be back in England?

“Why would Zayn be in London if we’re here?” Niall says, looking between the three of them. His head pounds against his skull.

“Niall, Zayn left the band,” Liam says. “You don’t remember that?”

“What?” Niall tries to sit up. He wants to go home. He wants the joke to be over. “Why would he leave? I don’t understand.”

“Niall, you need to calm down or you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Why would he leave?” Niall ignores Louis. “What did I do?”

“Nialler, you didn’t do anything,” Louis says trying to calm him down. “Liam, go get a doctor, nurse, or whatever.” Louis holds onto Niall’s hand as Liam goes out into the hallway. “He left because he wasn’t happy anymore, alright?”

“Why would he leave?” Niall repeats.

Liam comes back moments later with a nurse, trailing a doctor, Paddy and a bruised Basil.

 

 

“Can you tell me your full name?” the doctor says standing next to Niall’s bed.

“Niall James Horan,” Niall says. His eyes flicker over to where Harry sits by the window, looking for a reaction, even though it’s just his name and he at least still knows that.

“Alright, can you tell me what year it is?”

“2015,” Niall says but his eyes stay on Harry.

“Good, now, what month is it?”

Niall’s eyes look over to where Louis and Liam sit in the opposite corner of the room trying to look like they aren’t listening in, but they glance over and divert their eyes as soon as they see Niall looking.

“It’s March,” Niall says softly. He knows it’s wrong before he even says it and it doesn’t help that Harry squeezes his hand a little bit as soon as it comes out.  “I remember the show in Singapore, but after that it’s kinda hazy. Feels like that happened last night though.” Niall feels guilty. He knows the others are disappointed. Though he’s not sure how much he’s missed. “What month is it really?” Niall asks and the doctor looks surprised since he didn’t say whether or not Niall was right.

“It’s November,” Harry says in a low tone.

Niall can feel the tears prickling the back of his eyes and he takes his hand out of Harry’s to wipe his eyes before the tears have a chance to roll down his cheeks.  The movement hurts his bandaged wrist, but he ignores it. “Fucking hell,” Niall murmurs under his breath. “Why don’t I remember any of it?” he says more to himself.

“There was some swelling,” the doctor tries to say as calmly as possible. “The missing time may come back, or it may not, it’s really a matter of waiting to find out.  We’ll order a few more tests to make sure it’s nothing more serious.”

The doctor leaves and the other boys are quiet; unsure of what to say to Niall.

“How much did I miss? I mean, aside from Zayn leaving the fucking band,” Niall asks and he can feel the tears coming back up.

“Me and El broke up. Liam and Sophia broke up. I’m gonna be a dad, though,” Louis says.  “Her name’s Briana,” he adds before Niall has a chance to ask.

“Congrats?” Niall says hesitantly. “But also, sorry?”

Louis and Liam wave it off, it’s been long enough for the shock to wear off.

“You broke your foot,” Liam says trying to ease the tension. “Harry, did as well, same foot, different bone.  You were walking around on stage for a couple months with a boot on.”

“Figures,” Niall says, and he looks down at his leg, wrapped in gauze and a thick brace around his right knee. “Reckon I’m gonna need another surgery on that anyway.”

“New album hit number one,” Louis says.

“Christ, the fucking album.” Niall starts to cry again and Harry stands up and sits on the bed next to Niall, wrapping his good arm around him.

“It’s gonna be alright, Nialler,” Liam says softly.

The door opens, and Paddy sticks his head in. “Visiting hours are about over lads and Niall needs to get some sleep.”

Niall pulls away from Harry. “It’s fine, you boys need some sleep too.  You all look terrible.” Niall tries to laugh it off as he quickly wipes the tears off his cheeks.

Louis, Liam and Harry shuffle out of the room and Paddy comes in and sets a bag on the table. “Mobile got smashed during the accident. There’s a new one in there for ya, charger, headphones. Got as many contacts in there as we could but might be missing a couple.”

“Thanks Paddy,” Niall says.

“Basil will be right outside if you need him.” Paddy walks over to the door. “Get some sleep, yeah?”

Niall nods. He wishes that one of the boys were still there with him, but they were all looking like they hadn’t slept in days. It isn’t fair to make them stay here with him and try to sleep in the measly chairs and sofa in the room. Niall wants to go home. He’s tired of the hospital. He’s tired of being in bed and it’s hardly been two days. He wants to remember everything he’s forgotten.

 

Harry’s the first one that shows up the next morning. He smiles when he comes in and holds up a Starbucks bag. He sets a muffin out on the tray in front of Niall.

Niall’s been playing with his new phone all morning, he spent most of that time listening to their album, trying to see if he could recognize anything as his own.

“Album came out well,” Niall says and Harry leans over to see which song Niall is listening to and sees ‘End of the Day’ on the screen. “Little different hearing it and not remembering writing or recording any of it. I feel like I know who wrote what, but I’m not quite sure. Different sounds from the last couple albums.”

Harry looks at him and sits down in the chair next to the bed. “You really think that you know which one of us wrote what song?”

“’Olivia’ and ‘If I Could Fly’ are definitely you, also ‘Walking in the Wind’, but some of these are a bit out there, like they work on this album, but I have a hard time imagining us performing them, ya know?”

“It’s ‘Never Enough’, isn’t it?” Harry asks.

Niall gives him a look. “It is a bit odd.”

“Yeah, well, you wrote it, so don’t go talkin’ it down. Blame yourself for the weird.”

Niall smiles. “I think I like it even more now,” he says with a laugh. “Just wish I remembered writing it.”

Harry looks at him with a more serious expression. “How far did your missing time research go?”

Niall’s smile fades away and he puts down the phone. “Are we really going on a break?” Niall asks, looking up at Harry.

Harry nods. “Yeah, thought it was about time for all of us to take some time off. Probably a good thing now, anyways.” Harry gestures toward his arm and all of Niall.

“S’pose you’re right,” Niall admits.

Harry sits there for a moment. Occupying himself by twisting the rings on his left hand.

“Is something wrong, Harry?” Niall asks. “I mean, apart from the obvious. You just seem a bit off, is all.”

Harry looks up at Niall, his eyes are red from trying to keep himself from crying.  “It’s just, when that truck hit us, I dunno…I’m glad that you’re alright, it’s just that—”

The door to the room opening cuts Harry off and Louis and Liam walk in. 

Niall talks to them, keeping their focus off of Harry so they don’t ask why he’s crying.

Louis pulls up their interview on Ellen when they talk about all of them falling on stage and a nurse rushes in thinking that something’s wrong, when they all start laughing at Harry’s big fall.  

“I can’t believe I don’t remember that,” Niall says with a laugh.

There’s a knock at the door and Basil looks in on them.

“There’s someone here to see Niall,” Basil says.

Niall figures it’s probably one of his cousins or Mully dropping in, but the person he never expected in a million years to walk in, now stands in the doorway.

“I can come back later,” Zayn says seeing the four of them crowded around each other. “Or not at all…” he adds after seeing Liam, Louis, and Harry’s less than pleased faces.

The three of them look at Niall, who can’t take his eyes off Zayn, mostly because it feels like some concussion induced hallucination. “It’s fine…” Niall says slowly. He looks at the other three. “Can you lads give us a minute?”

The boys stay put for a moment before they finally get up and leave the room. Harry looks back at Niall with a sad expression before he closes the door and Zayn seems to notice that.

“How are you?” Zayn asks awkwardly.

“I’m missin’ about nine or so months from me memory and I’ve fucked up my other knee, other than that I’m grand.” Niall watches as Zayn does the math in his head. “I don’t remember you leavin’, if that’s what you’re trying to figure out.”

“’m sorry, Niall,” Zayn replies.

“Why’d you do it? I saw quotes and the interviews, makes it all feel like a bit of a lie, if I’m being honest.” Niall looks at Zayn. “We were brothers.”

Zayn shrugs. “It was easier to convince myself that I never wanted to be in the band than to say that I stopped loving it. Me leaving was never anything against you lot. I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was all too much.”

“How’d I react the first time you told me?” Niall asks out of curiosity.

“You got quiet.  Always thought you blamed yourself in some way, but you just stopped talking to me altogether. It wasn’t your fault Niall. It was never a case of any of you not being enough. You lads were the reason I stayed for so long.”

“The reason you stayed so long in something that you didn’t want to be a part of anymore?” Niall says. “Thanks, that makes me feel loads better.”

“I really am sorry, Niall,” Zayn says quietly.

“Just be lucky I don’t remember any of it,” Niall says quickly. “So, you get a bit of a free pass…a do-over or something like that as far as I’m concerned.”

“Just like that?” Zayn asks.

“Just like that,” Niall echoes. “In my head, you still are my brother. I woke up thinking that something awful happened since you weren’t here with the other lads, so finding out that you left the band months ago because you didn’t love it anymore, was better news than hearing that you were dead or something like that.”

Zayn gives a vague nod and sits in the chair beside Niall’s bed. “So, do you know when you’re supposed to get out of here?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Haven’t a clue,” Niall says. “Though if I was going off the way Harry’s been looking at me, I might be stuck here for the rest of me life.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno, Harry just keeps looking at me like I’m a sick puppy, like it physically pains him to look at me.”

“I kind of noticed that a bit.” Zayn leans back in the chair. “He say anything? Like if you two had a spat or something before the accident?”

“He hasn’t said much at all. We talked about the album a little bit, but that was about it. I feel bad though, I was unconscious during the entire thing, but Harry was in the car with me…I dunno, maybe he saw something that he doesn’t want to talk about.”

“Media is making it out like you were on death’s doorstep,” Zayn says. “Not sure how true all of it is…when I heard about the accident, I knew I had to come out here and see you either way.”

“Maybe we should’ve started this break a little earlier…none of this would’ve happened. I hate looking at Harry and thinking that there’s something I’m missing. Something more than just the last few months, like something really important that only he and I knew about.”

“You should just ask him about it,” Zayn says. “There’s no point in both of you wringing your hands over something that you could figure out if you just talked to each other.”

“Would you do the same with Tommo?” Niall says giving Zayn a look. “I might’ve forgotten the last few months but ‘m not blind.”

“That’s a hornet’s nest that I don’t want to poke right now,” Zayn says. 

“You saying I was an easy target because I don’t remember how pissed off I was or was not?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Zayn laughs.  “Louis and I…that’ll come in time.”

The doctor comes in followed by a nurse. “Can we have the room for a moment?” the doctor says to Zayn.

Zayn gives a quick nod and gets up, walking toward the door.

“Am I gonna see you again?” Niall asks.

Zayn turns. “I gonna stick around for a little while, yeah.”

“Good,” Niall says with a smile and Zayn can’t help but smile back before he leaves the room.

 

 

“Are you just going to sit there making faces at me all day?” Niall asks looking over at Harry.

“’m not making faces at you,” Harry says in a sad tone.

“Is there something you want to talk to me about?” Niall asks. “Whatever is going on here is starting to worry me.”

Harry thinks about it for a moment. “We had a conversation before…before all this happened.” He gestures vaguely. “I asked you something and you didn’t have a chance to answer.  I’ve just been thinking about it a lot I guess.”

“Did I say something profound?” Niall jokes. “Was it life-altering?”

“A little, I s’pose,” Harry says.  Harry looks at Niall…really looks at him. “You really don’t remember anything?” he asks as if Niall is pulling some prank on them.

“Harry, why can’t you just tell me? Just tell me what we talked about and maybe I can give you an answer now.”

“It’s not the same,” Harry says shaking his head. “Who you are right now is who you were back in March and too much has changed since then for you to deal with that conversation.”

“Then what am I supposed to do here, Haz? How do I make all this easier for you?”

Harry looks at Niall and sees the sincerity in Niall’s eyes.

“Will you close your eyes for me?” Harry asks in a soft tone.

“Why?”

“Just do it…for me,” Harry says. “I’m not going to hurt you or do anything mean, I would never do that to you.”

Niall looks at Harry for a moment, biting his lip, before he gives in and closes his eyes.

He keeps them closed, breathing in the cool air around him, focusing on the way his heart speeds up and the even in and out of his breathing in the darkness of his closed eyes. 

His stays like that, keeping them closed even when he feels Harry’s breath tickle his face before Harry’s lips touch his. The kiss is soft, and Niall stays in the darkness of his own mind, not sure what to do before he finds himself kissing back just before Harry pulls away.

Niall takes a moment before he opens his eyes and Harry is looking back at him, waiting for some type of response from him, but Niall isn’t sure what to do. 

“I—” Niall starts to say, but he watches Harry’s heart sink and before Niall knows it, Harry’s getting up from the chair he was sitting in.  “Harry…”

“It’s fine, Niall. Just forget about all this, yeah?” Harry won’t look at Niall. “It’s no big deal. I’ll uh…I’ll see you later, I guess.”  Harry’s gone and out the door before Niall can say anything else.

 

 

“Harry kissed me,” Niall says, and he almost hopes that Zayn doesn’t hear him, from where he’s sitting beside Niall, scrolling through his phone trying to find something to show him.

Zayn’s fingers stop almost immediately, and he looks up at Niall. “He did what?”

Niall sighs. “I asked him why he was acting so weird which made him act even weirder and then he asked me to close my eyes and I did and he kissed me.”

“Did he say why?”

“He looked hurt afterward, and he told me to forget about it and he just left.”

“Did you talk to Louis or Liam about it? Maybe they know something that you don’t remember.”

Niall gives Zayn a look. “I’m not going to ask them why one of me best mates just kissed me. It could throw off everything in the band. I figured if I told you it wouldn’t change anything because you weren’t in the band anymore.”

“You do realize that you guys are about to go on a break,” Zayn replies. “Like give it a month and there won’t really be a band anymore.” Zayn sits back in the chair and looks at Niall. “I don’t know, Nialler…if there was anything going on between the two of you, it wasn’t happening when I was still in the band.”

“I just…I don’t know what to do. Clearly, I’ve forgotten something important.”

“I think they real question is, did you kiss him back?” Zayn asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Maybe?” Niall says. “A little…I don’t know. It felt like the thing to do.”

“It’s not my place to say this, Niall, but a lot’s changed for all of you the last few months, maybe a lot more than you think and in different ways than expected.”

“So, you think I’ve fallen in love with my best mate somewhere in the last nine months?”

Zayn shrugs. “Crazier things have happened.”

“I s’pose you’re right,” Niall admits. Just from the little bit that the rest of the lads told him, it has been a bit crazy and parts of it are borderline unbelievable.  “I should probably talk to him.”

“Probably.”

“I just wish something would just magically click and I could remember everything.”

“Maybe that’s what Harry was hoping when he kissed you.”

“I’m not a Disney princess, Zayn.”

Zayn shrugs. All Zayn does is shrug and look at Niall with a cheeky grin, and Niall’s ready to whack him over the head.

 

Niall finally gets to leave the hospital and goes to stay at a rental house in L.A. until he’s ready to fly back to London. 

Tara, his assistant is with him most days, as well as Basil. The other boys, including Zayn but excluding Harry, come to check on him.

He texts and calls Harry, but Harry insists that he’s busy and he’ll try to make time to come over to see Niall, but Niall can smell the bullshit a mile away and he calls Harry late in the afternoon telling him to come over and that if he doesn’t Niall’s going to stop calling and texting altogether. It’s harsh and Niall hates pulling that kind of stuff, but it needed to be done.

Niall sits on the couch scrolling through his phone, while he puts his music on shuffle. It’s Bruce Springsteen and The Eagles and The Lumineers. He happens upon pictures from the accident and he’s surprised with how detailed it all is. There are pictures of the outside of the SUV, but also the inside. There’s glass and blood all over the backseat and it makes Niall’s stomach sick to see it. He knows that blood is his.

But what’s worse, is the blurry iphone pictures, probably taken by a bystander that show Harry being taken out of the vehicle, Louis kneeling on the pavement, puking while Liam stands behind him with a hand on his shoulder, before Paddy whisks them away back into the other SUV. He almost doesn’t recognize the pictures of himself on the stretcher.  It’s surreal, really.

Niall stares at the pictures of the inside of the SUV and Kris Allen’s ‘It’s Always You’ comes on. He looks at the seat, the blood staining the upholstery.

 _I wish I could think about another pretty face_  
One that doesn't make feel this way  
One that if she left me, it wouldn't be the death of me  
I would be just be fine  
But every time  
It's always you

He sees Harry’s face, remembers the way that Harry smiled at him as the song played out from the car radio. He feels something pull in his chest.

There’s a knock at the door, but Niall ignores it. His eyes focused on the mess of the SUV.

He can feel Harry’s hand on his like a ghost.

“Don’t let go…” Niall mutters to himself.

“What?”

Niall turns and sees Harry standing at the threshold of the living room.

“How’d you get in here?” Niall asks.

“The door wasn’t locked,” Harry says. “What did you say before I walked in here?” Harry looks wild as he stares back at Niall.

Niall looks back at the phone in his hand, at the pictures, just as the song fades out. “Don’t let go,” Niall repeats and he looks up at Harry. “Don’t let go…it was the last thing we said to each other.”

“You remember?” Harry says, and Niall can see the tears falling down Harry’s face.

Niall looks down at his lap. He tries to keep the scene in his mind. The way the song sounded on the radio, the way he felt when he looked at Harry.  

He runs his fingers over his lips. “You told me that you loved me…loved me more than a friend. You asked me if I felt the same, but I didn’t have a chance to answer.  Lou had to get our hair done before we left for the interview.” Niall looks up as Harry comes over and sits on the edge of the couch next to Niall. “Some of it’s still kind of fuzzy, but I remember you, Harry…”

Harry still looks worried. “Do you remember what your answer was going to be?”

Niall reaches out and takes Harry’s good hand. “When you told me that you loved me, I didn’t answer because I didn’t know what to say, and then the moment was over. You’ve been my friend for so long and this break seemed scary and daunting, but I realized that when you said that to me that I’d felt the same for a long time now, and I just didn’t realize what that feeling meant or what it was until you told me you loved me. After talking to Zayn, I realized that we put a lot of our lives aside for this band and even though I love the band and I know I’m going to miss it while we’re on break, that this is our first chance since we were sixteen to do what we want, whenever we want.” Niall smiles at Harry. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I want to try this, whatever it is between us, because I love you too and the idea of being with you feels like a good next chapter in our lives.”

Harry smiles widens, and he leans in and hugs Niall, who buries his face in Harry’s neck. “I missed you,” Harry says quietly.

“I missed you too.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! Be sure to comment and tell me what you think and check out the 1d Back For You Collab on Tumblr and sign up as an artist or writer!


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